Saving Me
by Aleize Claire
Summary: Spencer's darkest hour,  warning  self harm implied.


**If you don't like Reid and Gideon friendship fics than you better turn tail and find something else. This is my very first attempt at a Criminal Minds fanfiction, weather you love it or hate it let me know in a review.**

**~Pshycosweetness**

_When one has not had a good father, one must create one_

_~Friedrich Nietzsche_

.

Jason Gideon took his usual seat in the meeting room of the BAU headquarters in Quantico Virginia.

He sipped his coffee as he waited for the rest of his team to slowly filter in.

One by one Hotchner, J.J, Morgan and Prentiss filed into the room and took their seats at the round table.

Everyone took notice of the empty seat. After a moment of tense silence Morgan spoke,

"Where's Reid, he should be here by now."

"He's probably in line for coffee." Prentiss suggested, picking up her phone and dialing Reid's number. Nobody moved as Prentiss held the phone to her ear. "Reid, call us we have a case." She muttered into the receiver.

Special agent, Spencer Reid awoke with a jolt. His face was dripping in a cold sweat his long caramel colored hair matted to his face.

He'd had a nightmare, the same nightmare that had plagued him for the past month.

He could still feel the sting as the imaginary needle pierced his skin. Spencer absently rubbed the place on his arms where the drugs had entered his body. Suddenly the cell phone on the nightstand rang the number on the screen showed him that Emily Prentiss was calling.

Spencer was in no mood to talk to her. He didn't even feel like coming into work today, all the stress from the many sleepless nights had taken its toll on the young genius.

Spencer crawled out of bed and walked into the kitchen of his two room apartment.

He started the coffee maker and headed for the shower. The hot water seemed to calm his racing heart. _ "Don't go to work today it's not like anyone would miss you." _said the disembodied voice in Spencer's ear.

"Be quiet Sal I don't believe you." Spencer said aloud.

"_Oh come on Spencer I'm your friend,_ _the one you won't ever be able to get rid of. I won't ever leave you." _Sal said enticingly.

"Shut up Sal!" Spencer cried. As he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself.

Spencer made his way to the closet and pulled on a navy blue button down shirt and covered it with a black pullover vest before topping of the look with a blue tie, before pulling on his boxers and a pair of black pants.

After another half hour, Reid still hadn't appeared. Gideon couldn't ignore the feeling of dread that had settled in his gut.

Ever since Reid had been kidnapped and tortured by an unsub, Tobias Hankel, just three months ago, Reid just hadn't been the same.

He was still an instrumental part of the BAU but it seemed, to Gideon, at least that Reid had backed off from the job.

Spencer made his way back to the bathroom, he stood in front of the sink and took in his own appearance.

He noticed the purple bags that had appeared under his eyes evidence of his many sleepless nights. His hair was wet and tousled and his cheek bones looked like they could tear through his skin.

_"Come on Spencer, look at yourself, look at what that job's done to you" _ Sal said.

"It's not my job hurting me, it's you, Sal now leave me alone so I can get ready for work." Reid said a bit too loudly.

"_Come on Spencer, you know you want to , it will make me quiet. That's what you want isn't it?"_

Spencer's good sense nearly overruled him but he so desperately wanted Sal to be quiet.

~0~0~0~0

Gideon's feeling of uneasiness intensified, as another ten minutes passed.

"You all continue with the case, I'm going to find Reid." Gideon said, standing up.

~0~0~0~0~0

"_Come on Spencer, you know you want to." _Sal hissed

Tears of frustration ran down Spencer's face as he grabbed the razor off the sink and held it to his wrist. Opening his old wounds. Spencer collapsed on the floor of the bathroom, blood seeping from his arm.

"Good job, Spencer. You did good." Sal said happily.

"You promised you would go away if I did this, I did what you asked now leave me alone!"

Spencer screamed, covering his face with his hands, rocking back and forth as more blood continued to run down his arm.

~0~0~0~0

Gideon ran up the steps outside Spencer's apartment and pounded on the door.

"Spencer, it's Jason open the door!" he called.

Spencer heard the sound of his best friend's voice and thought , for a wild moment that he had died that Gideon couldn't possibly have come to his rescue, because who would? Who would want to come and rescue Spencer Reid from himself?

"_Tell the old man to go away, he only wants to cause problems for us." _Sal hissed.

Gideon stood at the door for a moment before he received a murmured reply.

"Gideon, I'm alright just go, okay?" Spencer said softly.

Gideon could tell by the tone of Spencer's voice that something wasn't right. If spencer wouldn't open the door and let him in, Gideon would take matters into his own hands. He took a stance and rammed his shoulder straight into the door.

"Spencer!" Gideon called in alarm as he walked through the apartment with his gun in hand.

When he received no answer, Gideon called again, "Spencer!" As he walked into the bathroom and found the man curled in the corner of the bathroom, bleeding.

Gideon knelt down on his knees , holstered his gun and cradled Spencer's drooping head in his hands.

"Why? Spencer, why would you do this to yourself?" Gideon whispered.

As he raced around the bathroom, grabbing towels off the shelf and calling 911 on his phone.

"Sal, he... promised." Spencer muttered as Gideon began wrapping towels around Spencer's wrist.

"Sal promised he would be quiet this time, if you hurt yourself, didn't he Spencer?" Gideon asked, he already knew the answer but he needed to hear it confirmed.

But before Spencer could reply, the paramedics rushed in.

An hour later, Gideon was sitting at Spencer's bedside waiting for the young man to wake up. Spencer had lost an large amount of blood and the doctors had given him a blood transfusion while he slept, and Gideon had sat next to him the entire time. With his hand over Spencer's.

While he waited Gideon, called the team and told them that Spencer had come down with the stomach flu. He didn't want to betray the young man by revealing his secret.

Suddenly, the hand that lay under Gideon's, twitched and Spencer opened his eyes.

"What happened?" Spencer asked, confusedly.

" You're in the hospital, you cut yourself, Spencer." Gideon explained gently.

"Sal promised, I just wanted to make it stop." Spencer confessed quietly.

"You can't make it stop, Spencer. Not that way, not through hurting yourself." Gideon said gently.

"Thank you, for finding me."

END


End file.
